Personal Post (avoid if you dislike swearing!)

When I started this blog it was more of an outlet for myself as I found writing down personal troubles helped me deal with what's going on inside my head. I had just started seeing a therapist for my depression and anger issues. The therapy started helping almost straight away and as there was less to blog about in this area it drifted more into beauty related posts (I'm not saying that's a bad thing and they will continue don't worry! I just felt today that I needed to write this.)

Since Christmas things have gone a bit downhill which led to a rather dramatic episode in my kitchen the other day (it involved a mop and lots of damage). 

I saw my therapist yesterday. Im under review for an eating disorder, great ay?! She said she's noticed that everything I do and the way I act is to do with food and my perception of my body. I wouldn't say its a f***n disorder though, more like a slight obsession... some days I eat alot, like at Christmas, and I was eating quite a bit of chocolate at my best friends. Then other days I will eat hardly anything as the guilt from eating before creeps in. I know its not right to replace meals with things like that and  I know I have an unhealthy relationship with food and my body. I have to keep a bloody food diary alongside my feelings and actions of the day.

Ok, reading back through this as if someone else I'm now thinking my therapist was totally right to pick up on this issue. I guess sometimes you don't see things for how they really are until you take a step back and look in from the outside, hmmm....