Monday, 6 February 2012

Our London Disaster!

For my friend Jade's 24th birthday I was invited for a weekend in London along with the rest of the girls. We all got the train together and were to stay at Jade's house. We were all so excited to go and after worrying about being late (Hayley decided to get up a few minutes before she was meant to be picked up! This resulted in her not having time to do her hair and spent the rest of the trip with hair like a birds nest, Vicky was not impressed) we arrived at the station ready to go, only to find the train was cancelled. Fortunately there was another train to London an hour later, so to pass the time away we ate skittles and talked about the weekend ahead. 

Jade text to let us know she had been preparing food for us, chicken pie, home made chips and salad to be precise... yes, pie AND salad. Me and Hayley had images of gravy soaked lettuce leaves and were rather worried. I was most excited about the home made truffles Jade had prepared...sprinkled with gold dust! When we got on the train it was packed, the only seats available were the ones next to the toilet. We reluctantly sat down and made friends with a middle aged man (who we later realised was Gay Kev from the local pub). Hayley invited him (jokingly of course) to Jades for pie and salad but he informed us he was going to the theatre. Bless him, I think he was a bit taken aback by 5 girls questioning him about his plans. We soon realised sitting next to the toilet was a mistake, the smell was awful. Me and Lou had a panic when a fat old man was in there for a VERY long time. 

Left to right, Lou, Jade, Vicky, me and Fe.
In the David and Goliath store.

Eventually, with numb bottoms we arrived in London. Jade met us and after quite a lengthy walk to her house we sat down to discuss the plans for the night ahead. We decided to go for a mooch around Covent Gardens before dinner. We had a lovely time in the Moomin Store, avoiding a rather large amount of horse poo and the most amazing hot chocolate EVER from Pret a Manger.

Vicky at the Moomin Store!

Lou, Fe and me in the Cyber Candy store.
I loved this shop! It was full of sweets and chocolate that you can only buy abroad like Wonka sweets, chocolate Pretzels and strange flavoured Pop Tarts!

Back at Jades, I was rather excited when she handed out the Truffles. Jades little Pug dog, Elliot managed to steal Lou's truffle which made Jade have a bit of a panic and poor Elliot had to have his mouth washed out (chocolate is poisonous to doggies). Lou went a lovely shade of tomato.
Me and Hayley were feeling anxious about our meal of chicken pie and salad but to our relief there was no salad. The pie was delicious! 

Ready to go out!

We all got ready for our night out, we had pre-paid tickets to the Ice bar and were so excited! Halfway through getting ready though we noticed the snow. THE SNOW... little did we know this was to ruin our weekend. After Vicky paraded around the house wearing only her underwear and rollers we eventually left the house at 10pm, only to be greeted by some scrubby chavs that live opposite throwing snowballs at us. Lou shielded us with her umbrella but one caught Fe on the shoulder and left her bruised! Vicky gave them an earful, telling them to "get a job you f****g chavs!" Haha!

At the tube station we were told that all the trains were cancelled due to the snow. Gutted! We didn't know what to do, we had already paid for tickets to the Ice-bar and didn't want to end up going home. A group decision was made to stay in the area where Jade lives and just go around the clubs there. On the way Vicki decided she would ring the Ice-bar and see if there was any way we could get our money back. She left a voicemail as there was no answer.... *said in a VERY Brummy accent*- "Hello this is Victoria Clayton, I'm the representative of The Saturdays, we have a table booked for half 12 but are unable to attend....." I have never laughed so much in all my life!! Needless to say, we didn't get a call back.

Fe, me and part of Jade in the loo's of the Maffia club.

We ended up in Wetherspoons, surrounded by locals, we were dressed up to the nines, legs out, heels on... but we decided to have a good time no matter what. After drinking games and stories about pooing on people, sex and men we were told to head to a club called Desperados. It was the only place open til 2 am. Vicky fell over numerous times and a passer by had to help her up! We headed over to find it was actually a restaurant. The bar lady told us we had to buy a drink in there then would be taken back outside to enter the club! VERY odd. But we did it anyway and found ourselves in a bar with loud music and lots of Mexicans. Hayley made friends with a football hooligan. 2am came and we were ushered out onto the snowy streets. Jade informed us we would be able to hail a cab, how very wrong she was. No cab would stop so Vicky decided that we would hitch a lift from the bar owner in his very posh sports car. Thankfully the Mexican Maffia boss (as we called him) refused to take all 6 of us so we were once again stranded in the snow. Me, Jade and Hayley made the desicion to walk but Vicky, Lou and Fe didn't want to. It was extremely slippy, not to mention the cold!

Jade was the only one who knew the way home so me and Hayley quickly followed, only to be told that Fe was now walking on her on. We went back to find Fe and she told us that Vicky had started a fight over a cigarette with a Mexican man! We tried calling Lou and Vicky but it went straight to voice mail. So we carried on home. After we got into our Pyjamas Fe managed to get hold of Vicky, the signal was awful and all she could make out was that they had walked too far and missed the turning. We sat waiting for the girls to arrive. Awhile later Lou and Vicky turned up, very distressed. Vicky was on the phone to the police. They had been followed....

After missing the turning down the correct road the girls were lost. They saw a group of 6 or 7 men at the bus stop so decided to cross over to avoid them. The group started calling the girls back but they were ignored. Lou noticed the men had crossed over and were now walking towards them, still shouting. Lou and Vicky walked faster, so did the group. They began shouting rude things, telling them what they were going to do when they caught up with them. Lou shouted back telling them to go away, umbrella at the ready. The men were getting closer to the girls so they made the decision to run. In high heels they ran through the snow, as fast as they could. The gang of men ran after them. Fearing their safety, Lou and Vicky called the police. Still lost and scared of what the men would do, Vicky panicked. Lou remained calm and urged her to keep going. After what seemed a very long time Vicky and Lou lost the men and found their way back to Jades, safe. 

We stayed up comforting them and Fe explained her reasons for leaving them at the Mexican club. Turns out she had been mistaken. It wasn't cigarettes the Mexican Moron had stolen from Vicky, it was everything out of  her bag! The thieving little b*stard laughed and refused to give her things back so Vicky being the crazy lady that she is grabbed the man by the throat, pinned him up the wall and punched him in the face, Girl Power! She then told him she was a policewoman (!!!) and would arrest him if her things weren't returned. It did the trick because her stuff was given back. Unfortunately it wasn't until returning to Jades that Vicky realised her money was missing, the Mexican Maffia thief had made off with 80 quid. Still, we were just grateful that both Vicky and Lou were safe.

Waiting for the cancelled train

We all went to bed, Vicky and Hayley were sleeping upstairs in the spare room, me, Fe and Lou were downstairs in the living room. We were just about to nodd off when there was an awful bang as if something had fallen down the stairs. I assumed it was bags and things that were left on there but no... Fe peered over the sofa to see Vicky, in just her underwear, sprawled on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. I nearly wet myself with laughing so much.

The next morning Jade made us a lovely breakfast and we packed our things. Gianni, Jades other Pug dog, got a little over excited and left something unsavoury on Fe's sleeping bag.... We decided to go to Nandos for lunch as Vicky had a voucher for a platter. We dragged our suitcases through the snow on the way to the station. Poor Lou was only wearing a pair of brogues and her feet were soaked. Vicky fell over again so we stopped to take a photo, haha. Lou got her suitcase stuck on an "iceberg" (her words!) which broke the wheel. Lou was now trudging through the snow with cold, wet feet and a wheel-less suitcase. It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't have a circulatory condition!

Eventually we got to Nandos, where Vicky had her free platter for 3 people ALL TO HERSELF. Well, she deserved it after her traumatic night!
We enjoyed our food, bought a few essentials then had a cup of tea whilst waiting for the train. We thought our drama was over until I got the runs....

After sitting on the toilet for a rather long time we boarded the train, only to find it was once again packed. And where were the only seats available? Lo and behold, the toilet! So once again we spent over 2 hours sitting next to the toilet in a very crammed train. Its amazing the amount of people that can't find the buttons to open the door! We ended up instructing every toilet go-er on which buttons to press and how to lock it (we felt this was essential after one silly man left it unlocked and we nearly saw his sausage!)..oh and Lou also thought she should remind people to wash their hands. Oh how I wish I had bought some air-freshener with me!

Vicky thinks we should write our story down and send it into Take a Break magazine... I might just do that!!

We arrived home yesterday evening, I was greeted by a very whingey little boy and a sick little girl. Today, I have THE WORST headache ever and wish I could stay in bed! 
Even though the weekend had some very traumatic parts to it, I had a fabulous time and will never forget it :-)


  1. What a flipping nightmare!!! Glad you all got back safe!
    What is it about the nights you look forward to that never go the way you want!!

    Jojo x

  2. this made me laugh so much! quite scary in parts too!! Can't believe all those men, don't know what i would have done!! Sounds like a very good weekend regardless :)

  3. Haha this mad em egiggle and reminded me of some nights out that i've had :] XXXXX

  4. I want to come out on a night out with you girls!! You sound like my sort of people haha!! Always some drama going on but always end up where you are meant to be and had a good night!!



  5. I have to say you are stunning..why do you want to have surgery and lose weight? You are absolutely gorgeous! All you need is a confidence boost. Your blogs are funny and interesting..why dont you become a beauty editor? I think your great the way you are x

    1. Thankyou for your lovely comment :-) I have no idea how I'd get into the editig business, maybe I will google it! X


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